She blooms like burning.

Er...so...

2009-11-14T01:13:40Z

So yesterday I ended up going to the emergency room. Why, you may ask...well...

I cut a chunk of my finger off yesterday. :D

I know. That's rather gruesome. The doctor said I'll be okay, and that the skin will grow back within 2 weeks.

To be honest, I think the tetanus shot hurt more than the slice.

Get better soon finger. :( I'll get cheezecake in your honor tomorrow. ♥

What I learned? Never use a medallion slicer when you aren't paying attention. 8)

The Ins and outs

2009-10-11T16:30:56Z

It's been a while, LJ. ♥

Just kind of board of the internet, to be honest. I know, shocking~! But when you remove yourself from all the drama, you begin to think clearly. Clearly enough to write things. Write things in an old document saved under the title of "manifesto.doc". Now I must see if it will actually be finished this time around.

But aside from that, what have I been up to? Lots! Went to NYC two weekends in a row and hung out with my amazing friends Katie and Lora. Like...beyond words. Went and had some amazing food, went to a street fair and even an anime convention. Not all in one day of course. Those were just some of the things we ended up doing. It just makes me more sure of what I'm planning for the future. I did get something completely amazing though. It made my fangirl heart sing. A TEAM GAI WALLSCROLL! SDIOFJLSDKJFLSDKFJ OMG...it's gorgeous and I swear I must have been the most annoying person in the entire world when I found it cause that was all I was thinking and talking about when I bought it. It's beautiful. I was sure from that moment in time when I paid for it and started squealing that I was and always will be a Team Gai fan. It's hard not being a complete nerd over them. Even now when I find reading Naruto a chore instead of a pleasure (it's still not over yet? D:). But...:) I am so happy now. A lot has been changing and coming together in my life recently. Bliss. ♥

It's sad that it's Sunday though. It means tomorrow is Monday. But, it's alright. I still have a few hours to accomplish a few things.

To Do List
- ~~Make "French Toast"~~ Oh my...super yummy~! ♥
- ~~Pay bills~~
- ~~Wash clothes~~
- ~~Wash hair~~
- Lots of writing
- Enjoy a little outside time
- Oggle over some fanart

Oh, and light_flower. I was trying to catch up on journals and read your recent recommendation of the manga "Dengeki Daisy". YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Very good read. I love it. It's killing me that I have to wait for chapters though.

i work hard for the money

2009-09-19T04:27:21Z

Not a long update because I should go to bed so I don't fall asleep on the road tomorrow.

Going to New York. I need to because my brain is fried from all the training I'm doing at work. It's so draining that sometimes I just sit downstairs as soon as I walk through the door and watch pointless TV till my senses tell me it's bed time. Then I do it all over again.

I need a break. Good thing it's the weekend. Time to freshen up. Should be exciting times.

I deserve it though. I donated blood this week and gave my sister money to buy books. Not to mention I worked my ass off. I've done my good deeds, and now I get some me time. HURRAH!

I need to grow up

2009-09-05T18:42:18Z

So as I wait for these slides to dry, I thought it would be rather important to actually...put some of my thoughts down in writing.

My mind is at it's busiest when I'm not doing something. lol

I want to move forward. I want to move out. I want to travel. I want a boyfriend. I want to hang out with my friends. I want to stop losing friends. I want a better job. I want a new car. I want to feel more motivated. I want to go back to school. I want more money. I want people to stop pushing me around. I want to have my own voice. I want to stop pleasing everyone for the sake of not having the courage to speak my own mind. I want my face to clear up. I want to find more people who understand me. I want my family to fix itself. I want to feel less sorry. I want to look in the mirror and say "looking good, kid." I want more excitement. I want to be less scared. I want to finish everything that I've started.

I sound selfish, but this is what I want. And in a way, it's just a lot of stuff that I need right now. If I don't get at least one of these things done...then I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck here forever.

Where'd this all come from? I think it's some higher power at work...but all this week I've heard about other people's accomplishments and...it just makes me think...where am I going? I couldn't even find a real answer. So...I guess I should start somewhere, right? SO then things just kept coming to mind. Things that I had to put off because of life issues. I..I'm 23 for goodness sakes. I don't want to be the old lady with 100 cats. I just don't. D:

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

2009-08-31T00:51:08Z

I am so lucky, and sometimes I tend to forget that. I was reminded of all of the reasons why I am so lucky this week. I had such a wonderful birthday, and week...and weekend! This is definitely my favorite birthday ever. Even though it was really simple, I felt incredibly loved. I got so many wonderful comments and gifts and love. I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank you everyone who remembered and made my days very special.

My weekend was incredibly fantastic cause my amazing friend Katie came over and spent the weekend with me. She brought me delicious cookies, we went to see Panyo (which was full of cuteness and lolz) and then we went shopping and I got the cutest stuff (you are my favorite person to shop with...seriously!). I totally cried when you left. I know I'm a loser for doing that, but I miss you guys, so much. I can't wait to see you again, so let's see each other soon. I can drive up there, or whatever. XDD

I'm so happy. Not even my former friend's rudeness on my b-day can bring me down now (yeah...fuck you for texting your friends while everyone else was singing happy birthday to me =/). I can feel good now going to work. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2009-08-20T02:18:27Z

I MUST TAKE A MOMENT OUT OF MY DAY TO WISH light_flower AN EARLY SUPER DUPER AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE MAILED YOU A GIFT! I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT AND BE SURPRISED! I HEART YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!

I hope we can meet each other one day. You're so sweet and awesome. I got your text the other day while I was bogged down at work. You helped me get through my day. I hope you got my message back? I sent it right back to the same number that popped up on my cell. Well anyway. Enjoy your day, and I hope you get a ton of love and cake. XDD I'll send some NejiTen fanart in my fanart thread as soon as I get another minute.

♥♥

HURRAY WEEKENDS!

2009-08-15T06:27:09Z

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

So like....

I need a NejiTen fix...so I demand I be satisfied...and how will I do this!?

OH I KNOW! NEJITEN SPAM POST! YEEEESSSS! ~~YOU'LL AID ME IN MY INTERNET CONQUEST, RIGHT light_flower?~~

sexi 8D

Working...is...not what I'm doing lol

2009-08-10T19:52:53Z

Just chillin' in virology. It's horrible. I know there are probably a million things to do around the lab, but...

Nope, can't make an excuse this time. I'm just being...me? Lazy, unmotivated. *face/palm*

So why make an entry then? Well, while I've been back here I've been doing a lot of thinking...reflecting a lot on my past behaviors and the such. I find that I can be down right irritating to others. I can be so selfish and never think of anyone, but myself. I complain a lot without doing much to fix things. It leaves me unsatisfied and puts me in the habit of making posts like my previous one (and thanks to everyone who read and left a comment, it did lift my spirits).

I really need to start looking at the bigger picture. Then maybe I can start making small changes, so I can be a better person. There is sooooooo much going on around me that I tend to ignore, and that's horrible. So many people that I just leave hanging, or just give up on cause I feel like a loser at times (and for what...I know I'm not a loser, but I always put up this loser complex around me) or as if I'm not good enough to be a friend to anyone, so I leave quietly. Bah.

I know I can't fix everything, but I do want to start making small changes. I want a lot of stuff, but if I work at it, I think I can do it.

Lifestyle wise, I'm slowly adapting a more vegetarian lifestyle. I feel so much better not having meat so often (and I used to be the biggest meathead ever). I'm not perfect yet, but I do like making better decisions when it comes to my health. Not everyone is happy about this sudden diet change. My coworkers seem to be a bit...hard on vegheads. XD And my mom has been rather upset about this as well. It has nothing to do with losing weight. It has to do with me just feeling better about myself. And an added benefit...I'm helping the planet in more ways then one? It makes me feel good.

Now, if I can just build off of that goodfeeling and fix the other stuff wrong in my life...then I'll be good. :)

Haha! Nonsense post done! Going home and I'm going to finish resizing those photos. I'm rather proud of some of them after all. I've been putting off this Otakon post for far too long. XD

dig me up

2009-08-05T02:00:05Z

I've been a bit down the past couple of days. I don't know why. Just you know...dragging my feet a bit. When I feel better I'll get stuff down. Till then...

*sweats to death in room*

I have been watching anime to fill the empty void though, lol. K-On is my new obsession. Finished watching the series, and man...it did raise my spirits up significantly. Gonna skim through the manga. It's such a fun thing to watch. Love, love, love all the characters. ♥ And the music has been looping on my ipod. XD Anime/Manga can be the best therapy sometimes. :)

I Like What i be seein'

2009-07-22T06:44:56Z

Well, I'm back. I've been back actually since Sunday. Otakon...was beyond words this year. I had such a fantastic time. This has definitely been my favorite year. I went to a bunch of amazing panels (I was lucky cause the people running the panels were actually well informed and entertaining). But man, there's nothing like Otakon to remind me how much I absolutely, 100% love anime, manga, dramas, and video games. It was like a complete wake up call. I haven't had this much fun in a long time, and I'm sure I'll be down there next year as well.

It's still such an overload. Like I don't even know where to start. It needs it's own huge separate post with pictures, lolz, and praise. XD I'll try and finish the post tomorrow. :D

But ever since I got home, I've been all nuts trying to download and watch stuff. I finally watched Hana Yori Dango. I was highly amused, and I think I'll watch the 2nd season. But while I was waiting for downloads and such...I realized that there was a manga I hadn't checked up on, Heart no Kuni no Alice. Well, I found a translation for the whole first volume....and I'm in love. It's a mindless land of bishies and my favorite wonderland concepts...I just lksdjflkjsdflkjsdf...*brain = mush*

I want more....I DEMAND MORE!

the cheese stands alone

2009-07-05T20:16:35Z

It really hurts losing your best friend. It hurts more when you don't even know until you read their facebook and find out through a survey they decided to post. I did my best though. I was there for her when she needed me most, I consoled her when her heart was breaking, tried to make her smile when she was feeling blue. But we had a lot of good times too. We played with our Barbies when we were younger, and sang along to our favorite Spice Girls songs when they were in. XD We had so many inside jokes and...life just seemed much more fun.

I used to say that it's not worth having friends because they either betray you or leave you. But now that I've lost yet another friend...a really dear friend...I feel different. I'd rather keep the good memories even if she hates me right now and remember how good it felt to have someone like her to rely on. I just hope that it won't be long before I make another really good friend.

Time to go.

Don't give up!

2009-07-03T02:41:35Z

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I?

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world...world!

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?

FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

tired of these motherfcking snakes in my motherfcking basement

2009-06-26T18:16:19Z

O

M

G

There is a snake in my basement. As much as I love snakes...I am not doing battle with it.

Snake...er...I'm going to call you Randi...you can chill there if you want. Just don't come out, kay?

And the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums...

2009-06-18T01:11:15Z

S-s-s-s-ssooo....today was absolutely amazing. And...I feel...so...alive.

I made him smile...laugh...it made me so happy. Sometimes...I don't know. It just feels like the little things are enough for me. kajdsfkjasdf That sounds absolutely weird...I KNOW! I can't put it into words. All I can say for now is that...I really, really wonder if something is growing from this. I really had to come out of my shell today...it was well worth it though.

=)

Decided to read Koukou Debut, and I must say that I adore it so far. The characters just crack me up. Yoh and his friends are brilliant. XDDD And I usually get annoyed by characters like this, but Haruna just makes me laugh. Very straight forward and in your face. She's fun. Very over dramatic, but it just puts a smile on my face.

Exciting Times

2009-06-14T03:02:32Z

This is waaaaaaayyyyy late, but I still wanted to send my love to umi_mizuno for her birthday! I wanted you to feel extra happy, especially now, so I made you some icons. You don't have to use of course, but I hope they put a smile on your face. ♥

I've been spending most of my time planning for Otakon. I like planning trips, so much fun. This will be my 4th year I believe. Kind of sad that this year I won't be going with other friends. Funds are low for them. D: Sucks majorly. All well. I'll still be meeting some people when I actually get there, so it's not a major loss. I'm excited as hell though. It's soooo close.

*flail* SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME!

I'm booked for the Radisson Lord Baltimore. This will be the closest to the actual convention center I've ever stayed. XD Which is great cause now I can sleep in a bit later, and won't need a taxi to take me back and forth. Whoo!

Oh, Internet...

2009-05-25T22:12:28Z

Oh, Internetz...how I miss thee...

Let me count the ways!

*sigh* I think if I keep working overtime I will just die from over exhaustion. Nope...can't do this job anymore. Nope, nope. Can't wait to go back to school. Hurry Fall...HURRY!

Blah...at least I'll have off Wednesday and Friday. I can't wait. T___T I'll be home soon Internetz...WAIT FOR ME! YOU TOO PHOTOSHOP! WE'LL MAKE MORE PRETTIES TOGETHER! PROMISE! *goes back to work*

I hate that I love you.

2009-04-30T03:11:53Z

I was selfish the other day, and bought a necklace by Zachery Pryor. His work is so crazy, and I love it. I want to buy this one on the right next. It's so...I don't know...like I saw it in this store called OMOI that I go to on occasion in the city. I never really splurge on anything, but when I saw this necklace...I was like. My god...I want it. I just want it. So I got the necklace. And I've been wearing it proud. XDDD

If felt good though. I'm always taking care of others and never taking care of myself or ever worrying about my needs. So....WHOO! I GOT A PRETTY NECKLACE!

*smile and nod*

God...why is it so hard to get over something/someone. It's just...god...argh...I feel so stupid. So very stupid. It's like...I try to put you out of my head, but it's impossible. And why the hell must you have a common name. It's like I can't escape a day even when I'm off without hearing your name. God damn it.

And so you're back from outerspace!

2009-04-25T01:29:07Z

SHE'S BACK! SHE'S BACK! MY BABY IS BACK! LAPPY HAS RETURNED AND NOT A SINGLE FOLDER WAS TOUCHED! Even photoshop is still here. Omg...I am so relieved. ;_____; I mean, it was horrible without Lappy, but it was incredibly boring not having photoshop. Gah! It was like every time I saw a picture, I was like OH! LET ME PUT THIS ON LJ! JUST HAVE TO RESIZ....OH WAIT I CAN'T! DAMNIT! But now I can. And it feels so great. I did find other things to do. Watched a ton of movies and dramas, did a lot of exploring, and made lots of plans. So it wasn't an incredibly unproductive two weeks. But...I will hope this doesn't happen for a very long time. XDD

So, sup!? Miss anything interesting?

And it continues...

2009-04-14T15:23:50Z

Day 5. O__________________________O

I have been very moody the past couple of days. Like I'm alright now, but as the day goes on I'll go from super happy, to super depressed, and then back to happy. I think it has to do with the constant mental beatup I've been giving myself. I need to stop that...like now.

But blah...late night tonight. I get off work at 7:30....sucks that it's supposed to rain all day. I'm hoping I have a better night's sleep tonight since I'll likely be tired after all the working. XD

Well, fuck...

2009-04-09T01:25:57Z

I love the fact that as soon as I really need to use my computer...it fails and now I have to send it out for repair. I couldn't turn my laptop on at all, so trying to save stuff was futile. But apparently, when I took it back to Best Buy (where I bought it) they said they can recover it and save it to their computers. Which is a major relief cause like...I definitely didn't want to lose anything...like most of the files on my computer are essential to my being. XDD Repairs are free cause of my warranty, so I'm grateful I got that when I purchased my computer. I knew it would come in handy.

I think the only downside is the fact that I will be laptopless for "1-2 weeks". I am a loser and I cried. I couldn't help it because it was my first major purchase, and to have it taken away from me...it got to me. D: It's a bummer cause now I can't make graphics, can't watch vids or download stuff. DDDDDDDDD: This will suck. But I'll still have internet. VERY BRIEFLY! I can bum off my sister's computer and then steal the internet from work. >D

Maybe this will be good for me. It will give me reason to go find things to do that need my attention.

ver. Let's Get Wild!

2009-04-06T04:06:56Z

Back! I had a lot of changes in plans this weekend. Some was disappointing, but I think the fact I got some stuff accomplished makes up for it. :) By Friday, I was completely brain dead from work and in lots of pain! After bruising my foot and being bored to death...it was such a relief I didn't have to work this weekend! And when I got home, I had this sudden burst of inspiration to actually do some stuff. This all started when I had to do some laundry. Washed all my sheets and started putting them on the bed. My cat must have crawled in there at some point between me grabbing lunch and me putting my stuff on my bed. Cause when I went to pull the sheets, her head popped out and she had this hilarious look on her face like, "WTF YOU WAKING ME UP FOR!?" Hence the picture. It was just too cute. I love her. ♥ So I started resizing my images on Photoshop...when something hit me. I want a new layout!

I don't know why...but that urge just hit me. So I started messing with a new header image. And from there I couldn't stop. Opened my base coding from way, way, way back and relearned a crap load of CSS. It involved a ton of missed hours of sleep, grumpiness from being pissed off at coding that would not work, and constant color changes. Not everything is perfect, but I am satisfied with this. Even updated my userinfo. @__@ So check it out?

blooming_cosmo blooming_cosmo
blooming_cosmo blooming_cosmo

*sigh* I think the only thing I'm really pissed off about is not being able to go to the cherry blossom festival in Philly. D: My foot really hurt, and I didn't want to injure it further. D; Dropped this block of heavy frozen plastic on my foot. I'm surprised it didn't break anything. But it left a nasty bruise...and it's so uncomfortable to walk. I'm going to try and go to the park some time this week if I have time. I still want to see the trees. :D

I know I missed this while I was away, but I didn't forget! Happy Belated Birthday nebulasan!!! I hope you got lots of presents! I send my love! ♥

Under Construction ; Proceed With Caution

2009-04-03T00:36:44Z

I'm renovating my journal. 8D What does that mean?

I won't be back until the end of the weekend. Expect things. ♥___♥

i can see u home with me <3

2009-03-21T23:48:34Z

You know that goofy feeling you get when you are totally infatuated with someone? It's like a natural high. And you wonder if every little thing means something when it most likely doesn't...but...

*sigh*

I can pretend, can't I? X3

Anyway...aside from acting like a complete dummy, I'm really looking forward to the 5th! A Cherry Blossom festival is being held not too far from me. Found out about it yesterday. I love finding all these weird treasures down here. Sometimes...and this is rare...but it makes me appreciate living in NJ. Man...couldn't even type that with a straight face. >]

I don't know. I've just been feeling really good about myself recently. Before I was just a hot mess, but now I feel different. A good different. Maybe it's because I've been eating better, taking care of myself, forcing myself to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night, exercising, green tea? I haven't the slightest clue, but I love it all. Oh, maybe it's because it's spring! FINALLY!

I think I'm going to bum it out for the rest of the night. Tomorrow I can shop. Till then though...any good recommendations for anything out there right now? Anime, manga, dramas? Currently in love with and caught up with Soul Eater and Shugo Chara. Totally "wtf"ing Naruto and Bleach. o_O And I think I need to reread some DGM, so I can remember what was going on since the manga is picking up again after so long. XD Anything else good out there?

____

2009-03-10T00:24:42Z

OMG TENTEN! LSKFJDFDF SO I LOVE YOU, AND I TOTALLY WAS TRYING TO SPREAD MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION FOR YOUR AWESOME WEAPONPWNING POWER ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, BUT WAS TOTALLY DENIED INTERNET TIME TODAY BECAUSE WORK WAS BRUTAL! SO LET ME CONTINUE TO USE MY CAP LOCKS AS I WISH YOU A....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

OMG LOVE!

2009-03-07T15:08:28Z

OH MY GOD...

I should talk about all this fandom awesomeness and wangst. I should really relish in all of the "I told you so, bitches!" I can now spread across the interwebs. I should finish up organizing some of the communities I own. But...

IT'S FUCKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE AND I'M NOT WASTING IT INSIDE! LATER BITCHES!

♥___________________♥